The Hokey Pokey
Instructions – Shakespeare Style
The following is from the Washington Post Style Invitational contest that asked readers to submit “instructions” for something (anything), but written in the style of a famous person. The winning entry was The Hokey Pokey (as written by William Shakespeare).
Then soon upon a backward journey lithe.
Anon, once more the gesture, then begin:
Command sinistral pedestal to writhe.
Commence thou then the fervid Hokey-Poke.
A mad gyration, hips in wanton swirl.
To Spin! A wilde release from Heavens yoke.
Blessed dirvish! Surely canst go, girl.
The Hoke, the poke — banish now thy doubt
Verily, I say, ’tis what it’s all about.
— “William Shakespeare”
Written by Jeff Brechlin, Potomac Falls, Maryland
This delightful piece has been reproduced many times on the Internet, although I have not been able to locate either the author or the original entry in the Washington Post. A version that includes the above picture of a dancing goose can be found here.