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A Sweet Italian Mother
– collected from a generic internet email, February 2011 –
Author unknown

Mrs. Ficcanaso is having dinner at the home of her son Anthony, who has a lovely female roommate named Maria.

During the course of the meal, the mother can’t help but notice how pretty Anthony’s roommate is.  She has long been suspicious of a relationship between the two, and this only makes her more curious.

Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she becomes ever more certain that there is something more between Anthony and his roommate than meets the eye.

Reading his mom’s thoughts, Anthony volunteers, ‘I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Maria and I are just roommates.’

About a week later, Maria comes to Anthony saying, ‘Ever since your mother came to dinner, I’ve been unable to find the silver sugar bowl.  You don’t suppose she took it, do you?’

‘Well, I doubt it, but I’ll email her, just to be sure.’ So he sits down and writes:

Dear Mama,

I’m not saying that you ‘did’ take the sugar bowl from my house; I’m not saying that you ‘did not.’  But the fact remains that it has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.

Love, Anthony

Several days later, Anthony gets an email from his mama which reads:

Dear Son,

I’m not saying that you ‘do’ sleep with Maria, and I’m not saying that you ‘do not.’  But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her OWN bed, she would have found the sugar bowl by now.

Love, Mama

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